Friends
I went out for lunch this afternoon with an old friend of mine. It was great, because we hadn't gone out together and sat across a table from each other in years, and we finally had the chance to catch up with each other. I told her about my life situation right now, and she told me about hers. Both of our lives are far from ideal but we have both always striven for what we want. We have that in common.
Sometimes we women can forget how important it is to have female friends in our lives. I know when I got married and had a child, I thought, What do I need friends for? I have my husband, a baby ... I had all I thought I wanted in life. The key word there is, thought ... I thought I had what I wanted. Like many women, I fell into the trap of thinking that a man was all I needed in life and a man was all I needed to make me whole. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Perhaps it would be true if it had been the right man ... :-) but even then I suspect I would have still been wanting. There are things that other women can give to each other that a man just can't, and likewise, there are things a man can give you that a woman never could. Both of them are valuable, and very different.
Women are emotional beings. That is why we can sit and talk for hours. Men seem to be more action-oriented. Women always complain that men never want to talk about important things. Men always complain that all women want to do is talk and talk and talk a situation to death. I guess that's where the whole Mars/Venus thing comes into play. Sitting down with a girlfriend and just having a good talk can be so uplifting and inspirational.
The way women bond over coffee and cake is the way men bond over beer and football. I think it's very important for people to just share being with people like themselves, with the same insights, same problems. It's a necessary outlet. Since we're different sexes, there are things the other half just can't fathom, and that's why we need time with our friends. We need to vent, and venting is not going to be fulfilling unless the other person understands what the hell we're talking about. I guess it fuels us with the empathy or understanding we need that we aren't getting with the other half, and then when we need a refill, we go back and get it.
Sometimes we women can forget how important it is to have female friends in our lives. I know when I got married and had a child, I thought, What do I need friends for? I have my husband, a baby ... I had all I thought I wanted in life. The key word there is, thought ... I thought I had what I wanted. Like many women, I fell into the trap of thinking that a man was all I needed in life and a man was all I needed to make me whole. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Perhaps it would be true if it had been the right man ... :-) but even then I suspect I would have still been wanting. There are things that other women can give to each other that a man just can't, and likewise, there are things a man can give you that a woman never could. Both of them are valuable, and very different.
Women are emotional beings. That is why we can sit and talk for hours. Men seem to be more action-oriented. Women always complain that men never want to talk about important things. Men always complain that all women want to do is talk and talk and talk a situation to death. I guess that's where the whole Mars/Venus thing comes into play. Sitting down with a girlfriend and just having a good talk can be so uplifting and inspirational.
The way women bond over coffee and cake is the way men bond over beer and football. I think it's very important for people to just share being with people like themselves, with the same insights, same problems. It's a necessary outlet. Since we're different sexes, there are things the other half just can't fathom, and that's why we need time with our friends. We need to vent, and venting is not going to be fulfilling unless the other person understands what the hell we're talking about. I guess it fuels us with the empathy or understanding we need that we aren't getting with the other half, and then when we need a refill, we go back and get it.
posted by emily pound at 11:40 AM
4 Comments:
That's something I love about Will, the fact that we talk SO much. The fact that he IS so emotional. He's a rare one, that's for sure, and that's why I love him lol Of course, I always got along better with men. Men were always more direct with me, even when it wasn't something I liked hearing. Maybe I just bring that out in men lol
Women I've always had problems with. Jealousy, fights, overly emotional. A lot of the time I can't handle other women. But the few friends I do have (I have a small tight knit circle of friends) I treasure. Because women are so different from men. I couldn't take a guy friend shopping for shoes or clothing lol He wouldn't get it lol
I liked this entry a lot. It was nice to read and made me think about my relationships. Thanks :o)
~Lily
Hi Jennie,
I know exactly what you're saying. It's actually a lot harder to find a truly nice woman to be friends with. So often, women backstab each other, talk behind each other's backs. I have been hurt like that so many times by other women. I only have 2 really good girlfriends, and even them I only see once in awhile. The older you get, the harder it is to make new friends too, because the older we get, the more suspicious we are (and for good reason) :-)
Oh well, we're internet girlfriends :-) Think of this blog (and yours) like a virtual coffee shop or something :-)
Hugs,
Gabriela
Hi Lily,
Glad you liked the entry. I know exactly what you're saying about having problems with other women, jealousy, etc. I've had a lot of those problems too. It's great that you are able to talk with your guy about all kinds of things, you're lucky. It is important to treasure the good friends you have.
Dear Emily:
I'm not sure if you got my first comment, the system seemed to crash as I tried to post it, must be words of too much weight for the blogger world.
As a possessor of both the x and y chromosomes I have a different perspective on things. Of course, guys do have different types of relationships with their buddies than the ladies do. Not better or worse, just different. Of course, for the guys the phone bills are smaller.
Somehow I think guys are more solitary thinkers than the gals, who share much more of what goes through their minds than we do. The relationships of the guys are, however, often deep and undiminished by the passage of time or absence of current events, so they can pick up years later where they were.
Not better or worse, but definitely different.
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