A Wet Pussy Can Be Pretty Evil, Too

I'm sure you've heard the age-old wisdom, "A stiff dick has no conscience." Well, I'm here to tell you it works just as well for the other half. Women can be just as immoral, ignorant, cruel, and selfish as men.

In medieval times, women were considered to be in league with the devil. They were segregated from men, "held captive" in towers, caged, and controlled. No doubt that's what inspired the romantic fairy tales about brave knights rescuing some imprisoned maiden from her tapesty-laden prison. This kind of thinking also inspired the witch hunts (which also victimized men, by the way, although in far lesser numbers) and the medieval version of the New York Times #1 bestseller, "Malleus Maleficarum", a treatise on the "evil" of women.

While I believe, of course, being female myself, that the denunciation of an entire sex, male or female, as "evil" is bullshit, it still mystifies me why so many people continue to believe the opposite ... that is, that all women are long-suffering saints, with not a drop of traitorous blood in them.

Using myself as an example (and who would I be able to speak more authoritatively about than myself), I can tell you that even though I am married, that my husband and I have a child together, that we have known each other and been in a relationship with each other for going on 20 years, I am no less susceptible to fantasizing about having sex with other men than he, or any other guy, is susceptible to lusting after every attractive women he sees.

Every time I see a guy who is attractive to me (and by no means does he have to look like Brad Pitt, who I think is just a wimpy pretty boy anyway), I automatically think, "Hmmmm, I wonder how big his dick is," and depending on how turned on I am by him, picture us having hot and nasty sex together. For me, it's not the "traditional" good-looking, male model types who turn me on. It's the "everyday" kind of man, especially if he has a hairy chest. That's what does it for me. Oh yeah.

I had a friend in high school who was a very pretty girl. She was the type who had line-ups of guys waiting to ask her out, and she always had a boyfriend. I mean, ALWAYS. She was the type who was never without a man. She was a good friend but I absolutely hated her for this. I was just the opposite, the type who went three months without getting laid. Anyway, one night we were at her boyfriend's place getting drunk, partying, the usual Friday-night thing. He'd passed out on the couch. His brother was there and I said my goodnights and went in another room to pass out. She told me the next morning that she and her boyfriend's brother had had sex right there on the floor mere inches from where her boyfriend was snoring, passed out. She went on to tell me they had done it a couple of different ways, while I listened in shocked stupefaction. I can't remember if I asked her why she'd done it, but if I did I'm sure she answered with something like, "I was drunk." This is the main example of what I mean when people assume all women are saintly, good little girls. This girl was a nurse, very sweet personality, everyone liked her. I'm sure they would have been shocked to hear she'd done something so awful. I mean, screwing around on your boyfriend is one thing, but right under his nose? I think even I'd draw the line at that one.

But there is an evil little devil lurking in all of us, male and female. Most of us manage to keep a lid on it ... but oh does it long to get out. I leave you with the immortal words of the much-missed Michael Hutchence: "The devil inside, the devil inside, every single one of us the devil inside ..."