This Better Be a Laura Ashley
I'm sure you've all heard the phrase, "You've made your bed, now lie in it" before. I sure have. Well, anyway, I just re-made my bed, big time, and I'm just hoping my instincts are right and everything will work out well.
Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I recently went through a whole host of job interviews, and it came down to a choice between two jobs. I took the more conservative choice, even though I knew I would probably regret it, and guess what? I did. I was sitting at my desk one day, about two weeks after I'd started, thinking, "What is going to become of me? Am I going to die in obscurity behind this desk without anyone ever knowing I'm alive? Am I doomed to live a meaningless existence simply for the purpose of getting a set amount in the bank every couple of weeks?"
These questions I was pondering led me to pick up the phone (my cell phone, actually, when I was on my break), and call the woman whose job I had turned down a scant month earlier. I was perfectly willing to grovel, beg, wheedle and whine, anything in order to get a second chance at that job. I wasn't sure what to expect -- whether she would hang up on me, tell me to fuck off, or simply kindly say thanks, but no thanks, I've hired someone else", then hang up, muttering "asshole". Anyway, she didn't answer, I got her voicemail, for which I was actually grateful, but I left her a grovelling, wheedling, whining message basically saying I really regretted turning down the job and if it was at all possible, please please please, would you maybe consider hiring me again?
She didn't get back to me, I called her back that afternoon, and she sounded friendly enough. I asked her if she'd gotten my message and she told me, with a laugh, that somebody had left her a message but that she'd accidentally deleted it. I shared her laugh and shrugged that off and then basically reiterated my position, that I believed I had made a serious mistake and was there any chance again that I could work for her. After a pause, and a bit more grovelling from me explaining why I had made the decision I did, she agreed to see what she could do and she'd get back to me in a couple of weeks. "Does that sound reasonable?" she asked. Hell yes, I thought, and told her, sure, take as long as you need, just let me know your decision when you make it.
Well, she called me back this week and told me she did have a position open and would I like it. I told her yes. Then I had to tell my current boss, who is an absolute sweetheart, probably one of the kindest men I have ever met, that I really terribly regretted it but that I had gotten an offer from another company who were offering to pay me much more, and I had decided to take it. He just sat there listening to me, nodding understandingly, and basically didn't say anything, except okay, I understand. I'm sure he was surprised. Then I had to tell my colleagues, which I did as soon as possible. It sent a mini shockwave through the company -- mini, because I've only been there a month, but it was a shock to the few people I've worked with.
I just feel like this other company is where I really belong, and while it isn't ideal as far as the hours go, I need to be there. I really think I need to start thinking more about money and more about my career and what's good for me professionally and personally. I just have the feeling this job will challenge me, will help me grow, will help me learn and develop important new skills, and get me a few steps closer to where I'm supposed to be in my life. This other job I've been doing is just that ... a job ... and I can feel myself withering away and dying just like with every other job I've had. I think it's time to push the envelope about and not be afraid to take some risks.
I start Sept. 11th. I know. But I don't think the date will jinx it any.
So, this bed had better be a good one. If it isn't, I'm stuck. But at least I'll know I took the risk and didn't ignore my gut feelings (for the millionth time). It's time to start paying more attention to my intuition. If I had done that years ago, in various situations, I'm sure that overall I would be much more content in my life right now.
Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I recently went through a whole host of job interviews, and it came down to a choice between two jobs. I took the more conservative choice, even though I knew I would probably regret it, and guess what? I did. I was sitting at my desk one day, about two weeks after I'd started, thinking, "What is going to become of me? Am I going to die in obscurity behind this desk without anyone ever knowing I'm alive? Am I doomed to live a meaningless existence simply for the purpose of getting a set amount in the bank every couple of weeks?"
These questions I was pondering led me to pick up the phone (my cell phone, actually, when I was on my break), and call the woman whose job I had turned down a scant month earlier. I was perfectly willing to grovel, beg, wheedle and whine, anything in order to get a second chance at that job. I wasn't sure what to expect -- whether she would hang up on me, tell me to fuck off, or simply kindly say thanks, but no thanks, I've hired someone else", then hang up, muttering "asshole". Anyway, she didn't answer, I got her voicemail, for which I was actually grateful, but I left her a grovelling, wheedling, whining message basically saying I really regretted turning down the job and if it was at all possible, please please please, would you maybe consider hiring me again?
She didn't get back to me, I called her back that afternoon, and she sounded friendly enough. I asked her if she'd gotten my message and she told me, with a laugh, that somebody had left her a message but that she'd accidentally deleted it. I shared her laugh and shrugged that off and then basically reiterated my position, that I believed I had made a serious mistake and was there any chance again that I could work for her. After a pause, and a bit more grovelling from me explaining why I had made the decision I did, she agreed to see what she could do and she'd get back to me in a couple of weeks. "Does that sound reasonable?" she asked. Hell yes, I thought, and told her, sure, take as long as you need, just let me know your decision when you make it.
Well, she called me back this week and told me she did have a position open and would I like it. I told her yes. Then I had to tell my current boss, who is an absolute sweetheart, probably one of the kindest men I have ever met, that I really terribly regretted it but that I had gotten an offer from another company who were offering to pay me much more, and I had decided to take it. He just sat there listening to me, nodding understandingly, and basically didn't say anything, except okay, I understand. I'm sure he was surprised. Then I had to tell my colleagues, which I did as soon as possible. It sent a mini shockwave through the company -- mini, because I've only been there a month, but it was a shock to the few people I've worked with.
I just feel like this other company is where I really belong, and while it isn't ideal as far as the hours go, I need to be there. I really think I need to start thinking more about money and more about my career and what's good for me professionally and personally. I just have the feeling this job will challenge me, will help me grow, will help me learn and develop important new skills, and get me a few steps closer to where I'm supposed to be in my life. This other job I've been doing is just that ... a job ... and I can feel myself withering away and dying just like with every other job I've had. I think it's time to push the envelope about and not be afraid to take some risks.
I start Sept. 11th. I know. But I don't think the date will jinx it any.
So, this bed had better be a good one. If it isn't, I'm stuck. But at least I'll know I took the risk and didn't ignore my gut feelings (for the millionth time). It's time to start paying more attention to my intuition. If I had done that years ago, in various situations, I'm sure that overall I would be much more content in my life right now.
posted by emily pound at 2:41 PM
1 Comments:
Dear Gabriella,
Im so glad that the other company decided to hire you. It sounds like you made the right decision to ask them for a second chance. I really hope you find fulfillment and success in your new job...you are an intelligent, bright woman, you should do exactly what you want in life. You deserve nothing less.
Hugs, Jennie
Post a Comment
<< Home