Being Mommy
It kind of surprises me that I've done so many entries on this blog and have not yet written a post about being a mom. Well ... today's the day.
I had to take my daughter to Sick Kids Hospital today for a follow-up checkup. Nothing serious. She had a minor condition a couple of years ago which was treated with medication, and they need to do the ultrasounds just to make sure everything is okay. Sick Kids Hospital is one of the premier, if not THE premier, children's hospital in the world. It is absolutely amazing. The place is gigantic, and it is a really nice place. It is decorated and festooned with all sorts of pictures, displays, toys and games to make the kids feel at home. Today when we walked through the main corridor to get to the elevators, there was this amazing display of life-sized teddy bears wearing ballgowns, pearls and other costumes. That's the kind of place it is. It just makes you feel good being there, even though you know that the reason most of the kids are there is not a good one. Most of them are terribly sick, and they're at Sick Kids to receive treatment from some of the best pediatricians and surgeons in the world.
Anyway, I always feel amazingly lucky to be taking my daughter there just to get her routine checkup. Today when we were waiting for her to go in and get her ultrasound done, we were sitting there with the other mothers and kids. There must have been about two or three babies there when we came in, and more just kept on coming. :-)
Every time I see a tiny baby, my heart just melts inside. Honest to God. I never thought I would be a mother, because I never thought I would be in the kind of long-term relationship that would be ideal to create one. By some kind of divine intervention, I truly believe, I was given that privilege, and let me tell you ... I never stop feeling grateful for it. Sure, I bitch at times. My daughter can be loud, and whiny, and demanding ... but she is also so pure and sweet that it breaks my heart. When I hear her reading a book, or playing by herself (she's always jabbering away, and I just love listening to her little stories), I just have to smile and think, She's going to be just like her mom!
My absolute favourite time with her was when she was a baby. Her dad would head off to work and I would sit with her on the couch and give her her bottle. (I tried breast-feeding and it didn't work. Don't get me started.) I would lie her on my tummy and against my chest and when she was really tiny I would hold the bottle for her, but as she grew and got more proficient at it, she would hold it herself, and her little hands would grasp it, then slip and touch mine, and reach back to grasp it again. Her little body in her pajamas was always so warm against me, and I used to sit there in silence with her, no t.v., no radio, just the sounds of her contented little guzzling. It was priceless and whenever I see a tiny baby, I feel myself yearning for that time with her again. But you can't turn back the clock.
I'd love to have another baby. Of course, it might not be realistic at this point because of my age and due to the minor technicality of not having a lifemate to reproduce with. I was ready to give birth again right after I had my daughter, that's how pumped I was! :-) I was so lucky, she was my first and only child and I gave birth to her in two hours. I'd been hearing so many horror stories about 23-hour labours throughout my pregnancy.
Parenthood is such an amazing thing. My daughter Emily is almost seven now. She'll be seven on June 21st. The years have flown by so fast since she was a baby. I know it won't be long before she's a teenager and will probably not want much to do with me as she becomes preoccupied with her friends, boyfriends, partying ... normal teenage stuff. I keep reminding myself to treasure this time I have with her when she still looks up to me as her guide, caregiver and mommy. Sometimes little irritants get in the way and I find myself snapping at her or not paying full attention to her if I'm busy with something else, and I immediately feel like a jerk afterwards.
I love my daughter so much. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, she's mischievous. She can be entertained by a stick she finds on the side of the road. When she gets angry, she's over it in a couple of minutes. She's a role model for me in so many ways.
I had to take my daughter to Sick Kids Hospital today for a follow-up checkup. Nothing serious. She had a minor condition a couple of years ago which was treated with medication, and they need to do the ultrasounds just to make sure everything is okay. Sick Kids Hospital is one of the premier, if not THE premier, children's hospital in the world. It is absolutely amazing. The place is gigantic, and it is a really nice place. It is decorated and festooned with all sorts of pictures, displays, toys and games to make the kids feel at home. Today when we walked through the main corridor to get to the elevators, there was this amazing display of life-sized teddy bears wearing ballgowns, pearls and other costumes. That's the kind of place it is. It just makes you feel good being there, even though you know that the reason most of the kids are there is not a good one. Most of them are terribly sick, and they're at Sick Kids to receive treatment from some of the best pediatricians and surgeons in the world.
Anyway, I always feel amazingly lucky to be taking my daughter there just to get her routine checkup. Today when we were waiting for her to go in and get her ultrasound done, we were sitting there with the other mothers and kids. There must have been about two or three babies there when we came in, and more just kept on coming. :-)
Every time I see a tiny baby, my heart just melts inside. Honest to God. I never thought I would be a mother, because I never thought I would be in the kind of long-term relationship that would be ideal to create one. By some kind of divine intervention, I truly believe, I was given that privilege, and let me tell you ... I never stop feeling grateful for it. Sure, I bitch at times. My daughter can be loud, and whiny, and demanding ... but she is also so pure and sweet that it breaks my heart. When I hear her reading a book, or playing by herself (she's always jabbering away, and I just love listening to her little stories), I just have to smile and think, She's going to be just like her mom!
My absolute favourite time with her was when she was a baby. Her dad would head off to work and I would sit with her on the couch and give her her bottle. (I tried breast-feeding and it didn't work. Don't get me started.) I would lie her on my tummy and against my chest and when she was really tiny I would hold the bottle for her, but as she grew and got more proficient at it, she would hold it herself, and her little hands would grasp it, then slip and touch mine, and reach back to grasp it again. Her little body in her pajamas was always so warm against me, and I used to sit there in silence with her, no t.v., no radio, just the sounds of her contented little guzzling. It was priceless and whenever I see a tiny baby, I feel myself yearning for that time with her again. But you can't turn back the clock.
I'd love to have another baby. Of course, it might not be realistic at this point because of my age and due to the minor technicality of not having a lifemate to reproduce with. I was ready to give birth again right after I had my daughter, that's how pumped I was! :-) I was so lucky, she was my first and only child and I gave birth to her in two hours. I'd been hearing so many horror stories about 23-hour labours throughout my pregnancy.
Parenthood is such an amazing thing. My daughter Emily is almost seven now. She'll be seven on June 21st. The years have flown by so fast since she was a baby. I know it won't be long before she's a teenager and will probably not want much to do with me as she becomes preoccupied with her friends, boyfriends, partying ... normal teenage stuff. I keep reminding myself to treasure this time I have with her when she still looks up to me as her guide, caregiver and mommy. Sometimes little irritants get in the way and I find myself snapping at her or not paying full attention to her if I'm busy with something else, and I immediately feel like a jerk afterwards.
I love my daughter so much. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, she's mischievous. She can be entertained by a stick she finds on the side of the road. When she gets angry, she's over it in a couple of minutes. She's a role model for me in so many ways.
posted by emily pound at 1:29 PM
4 Comments:
Hi Jennie,
Thanks, sweetie. :-) I truly believe that you would be such an awesome mom, you have all the qualities you need ... but I realize you have made this decision. I wish you could experience it for yourself, though. I think you would love it.
Her seventh birthday will be great. As usual, she's already given me a list of about thirty things she wants. :-)
Sweet :) It sounds like a wonderful thing. I hope one day to be lucky enough to have a kid, or two.
This made my heart melt... I love children so much. I've always wanted to be a mom someday.
~Lily
Hi Lily,
One thing about being a mom is that as soon as that moment your baby is out of you, your life is no longer your own. Your life is basically run by someone else for at least 18 years. :-) It changes your life so monumentally. Still, when I look at her ... I wouldn't change a thing. :-)
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